Tuesday, December 28, 2004

the triangle

so at my work a maid service comes by every tuesday and tidies up. they clean the bathrooms and, when they do so, they do that thing with the toilet paper roll. you know that thing where they like fold it so it's not a square, but a triangle sitting on top of the roll? i've seen it at hotels as well. is that like their calling card? similar to a painting being signed by its artist? cuz all it really says to me is "here's a piece of tp that you definitely shouldn't use cuz the maid had his/her hands all over it."

Thursday, December 16, 2004

things that will always be funny to me

i'd like to put together a running list of things i find funny that just never seem to get old. here's the first few that come to mind.

1. breaking in on a joke midway, hearing a ridiculous punchline and then having everyone break out in uproarious laughter.

e.g. "... so i said rectum?! damn near KILLED EM!" - "HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAA!"

typically, the comedy is based heavily on the delivery. being really loud and over-excited is key. you need to say the punchline as though your voice is going off a ramp ... "and then i said 'oh yeah!? my dog does the EXACT SAME THING!'" - "HA HA HA HOOOOOOO!" (i'm actually making myself smirk a little bit as i write that last one off the top of my head. see? it really is always funny to me.)

2. [some thing or activity] makes [something that is typically ridiculed] look like [something that is typically revered].

e.g. "white chicks" makes "corky romano" look like "citizen kane".

coming up with blank1's and blank2's (makes [blank1] look like [blank2]) that are really really far apart is helpful.

more to come, i'm sure. please comment on your own and we'll see if they make my cut.

Wednesday, December 8, 2004


anyone else miss those 80's commercials where people would get REALLY excited after they bought a car?

me too.

my name

say these words out loud:

i bet none of your pronunciations rhymed with the word duke or nuke.

so i recently made a phone call and left my name with a receptionist in hopes that i'd get a call back from someone:

receptionist: "can i get your name"
me: "luke"
receptionist: "l-u-c-k"
me: "no"

Whatup, y'all?

Here's where I'll post random thoughts I have while driving or running or writing symphonies as I'm prone to do.