Monday, June 16, 2008

The Bachelorette Musings, The Palm Springs Episode

Ok, so I'm a little bored and I feel like snarking (yeah, new verb meaning "to make snarky comments") about DeAnna's latest efforts on The Bachelorette. Plus, my ego is taking a hit as a result of my new lack of blog visitorship. Oh and I didn't even bother watching the "DeAnna Tells All" episode because I'm not really into listening to her talk.

Oh and before we get started with this episode, I must say that the last episode was pretty damn good. Great TV all around, but the one situation that needs to be discussed is how Newnan handled the 2-on-1 date. Do I even need to say it? She pulled a Big Swayze! She dropped them both! She even did a pseudo lap and a loosening of the tie before booting Fred. In her version though, she just got choked up and sorta took a breath. So here's my beef. I think if you asked her today about dropping both dudes, she wouldn't feel like she pulled a Big Swayze, but she totally did and that's what's so ridiculous. Just like Big Swayze, she didn't feel like she could commit to either of these individuals and so she let them go. And that's what she should have done. And that's what Big Swayze should have done. And he did. What's more ridiculous is that, in a few episodes, Fred won't have the opportunity to put Newnan on the hot seat in front of a crowd of angry men and say "I'm just confused" over and over again while Newnan just has to take it. Just admit it, Newnan. You now understand why Swayze did what he did. That's all I'm asking for. Wow, I guess I have some commentary on this season. I really didn't see that coming.

But really, all's forgiven considering the single tear that rolled down Sensitive Chef Bobbie's cheek in the limo. That was so so great. Probably the moment of the season for me.

Ok, onto the Palm Springs episode:
  • At the start, Harrison says something like "It's down to 6 and that's pretty amazing considering where this started." I'm gonna go ahead and say no. Not amazing. In fact, it's about the most predictable and unamazing thing ever. Why? Because the format of the show dictates that we will most certainly at some point get down to 6 dudes. It's about as amazing as the fact that we'll have a new president in a few months. It's going to happen because there's a system in place to make sure it's going to happen. Stick to your rose count, Chris.
  • Karate Kid's date ... what the hell? The dude gets virtually no one-on-one time for the first however-many episodes and all of a sudden he's a lock for the final 4? What the crap.
  • Also, Newnan's response to Karate's saying "you're walking around with a loaded gun" about 8 times was great. "Yes. That's a good ... that's a good saying."
  • Onto the group date ... what is the fascination with helicopters? I've been on one. It's a good time. They're fun, but they're not life changing.
  • And moreover my worst nightmare has been realized: one on one time with Twilley. I've got my awkward sandwich right here all slathered with the super secret horrible joke special sauce and I'm ready to swallow it in one gulp. Huh. How 'bout that? Wasn't so horrible.
  • I'll say one thing about this season's crew ... they f'ing LOVE pools! They're like Adam Sandler's character in that movie "Airheads" combined with a 9 year old that just moved from Minnesota to Arizona. (Reference not working? Fine, but check the number of houses with pools in MN vs. the number of houses with pools in AZ. I'm just saying they go in the pool a lot. Right?)
  • This is an odd thing to say. I too am hoping that Jesse kisses Newnan today. How did he not make that move during the Beddingfield slow dance? I maintain that he's the only dude left and I'm pulling for him ... F, Jesse, you blew it. Chick was staring you down and you choked. And you don't even know you choked.
  • Hey Graham, how 'bout you put on a backwards non-fitted hat and sorta cock it to the left? That'd be different. Wait. Is 'different' the word I'm looking for there? I don't think that's the right word. Also, your torso is freakish. There, I said it.
  • I take time during Jeremy's date to fold some laundry. Yawn. Also, apparently Jeremy's feelings are real, genuine and actual. That's like the holy trinity of Bachelorette feelings. You throw in a little "opening up" and I think Newnan's all yours. Just marry each other already.
  • Onto the rose ceremony ... so, uh, is DeAnna's hair naturally curly? Has she straightened every dang day? You girls have it rough.
  • When Harrison said "there will be no cocktail party tonight", I figured there was a 60% chance he'd then say, "but there will be a POOL PARTY! HELL YEAH, GENTLEMEN!" And then he'd join them in the train cannon ball run into the pool.
  • Twilley gets the boot. I'm happy. Especially considering his parting words to Newnan. Looks like I got a side of awkward potato salad with that sandwich.
  • Karate Kid gets the boot. Respectable exit, too. Nice work, dude. And hey, you got a decent haircut out of the whole thing, too.
Next week, Jesse the MADE coach executes his skills with Newnan. Newnan's in the hot seat with Jeremy's family. Good times. OH! And a full on Newnan break down. Looks like I'm in it til the end on this season.

And finally, shamelessly, click on any of these little links below if you're so inclined. It'll maybe get a few new readers to the bloggy here. Onwards and upwards, ya know?

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