Wednesday, February 16, 2005

local news

a blurb i overhead advertising for the 6 o'clock news:

"A streaker on the loose in Scottsdale. Tune in and hear his description."

Ummmmmm, the guy who's showing his penis? maybe? i think i'll skip the news.

Thursday, February 10, 2005

chris from the apprentice strikes again

so we've learned something else about chris besides the fact that he refurbishes homes for a living.

"Sir, I am NOT a homosexual."
-Chris from The Apprentice, once again spoken in the boardroom

Wednesday, February 9, 2005

the monologue

think about the title of this post

hey, host of the family feud, if i'm ever on that show and the other family has 2 strikes, and you tell me "johnson family, be ready to steal", i'm going to stab you. we're ready to steal.

if you're on the price is right and you're bidding to get up on the stage and someone bids X dollars ahead of you, DON'T bid X-25 dollars. i'm begging.

i think if everyone told the truth all the time on tv shows or movies, the average tv episode would be about 5 minutes long and the average movie 15 minutes.

Wednesday, February 2, 2005