Thursday, June 26, 2008

My favorite horrible songs

So I've come across some songs in the past few years that are probably objectively horrible. But on the other hand they're fantastic and should be heard at least once by everyone.

Banana Phone by Raffi

This is a kid's song about a phone that is actually a banana. What's wrong with that? Just as reasonable of a song topic as a girl deciding to kiss another girl or a song about a girl who is bleeding love instead of blood. I first came across this song during a Halo montage video on youtube. I brought this up to my buddy Jono and he revealed that this song is wildly popular among gamers and he too had first heard it via a video game. Weird, right?

Just give it a listen and tell me you're not kind of into the line "ping pong ting tang ting tong donana phone." Listen here, but don't spoil the entry by listening ahead. Come back and read before rolling the other tunes.

Hot Drinks by ... Wendy's I think

This song was introduced to me by the podcast AudioCrush (iTunes link). (I was even in on episode #27 if you care to listen.) The concept behind the creation of this song is crazy enough. Let's write a song that teaches our employees how to prepare our hot drinks here at Wendy's. But let's not just write any song. "Let's write the preparation of hot drinks song in a sort of late 80s Ralph Tresvant style smooth hip hop. That'll get all our hot drinks to the customers in exactly the right way!" I mean, they really went ahead and produced this tune. This is not some manager and his guitar writing lyrics to the tune of "Mary Had a Little Lamb".

You really must listen so you can know how and when to "give the guest a juicy slice!" Also the banter before and after is the Audiocrush boys. I think their end reaction says it all.

Brass Bonanza by ... The Hartford Whalers (let's pretend)

This is the fight song of the hockey team that was once the Hartford Whalers. I was introduced to this song when a sports radio host was given cart blanche decision power over the song that one of his listeners would play at a wedding while the wedding party was introduced. This is the song he chose.

Give it a listen and just imagine how funny this song would be while being played at a wedding under any circumstances. Be sure to listen all the way through so you can here the break down. And then when they bring the horns back after the awesome drum break ... just gold. I honestly love this song and listen to it quite often. Way more often than the previous two tracks.

Casino Royale by Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass

This song is gold. Try to fight it. I was introduced to this song by Will Forte's brilliant sketch below. He's much funnier than I could ever try to be so check it out -- well, amazingly, a full version of the sketch I was thinking of is nowhere to be found. I could only find a fragment of it so let me set it up. The idea is that Will Forte is the coach of a basketball team that finds themselves down by 40 points at half time. And Forte tells a story of when he was playing hoops and was in a similar situation. Forte's coach then put on a song to get them pumped for the second half. Forte puts the song on for his players and eventually leads to him doing this. The full sketch is so much better, but the Internet has failed me so have a look at this fragment:

Or just rock the tune by itself here. Also, it's called Casino Royale because this was the theme song to the original James Bond Casino Royale movie. How could anyone associate this song with being a bad ass, lady killing spy?

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