Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Please stop saying these words in this order

I've pretty much had enough of people saying certain phrases that have become extremely popular as of late. Either that or I just really hate them and notice them more than I should and hence they seem popular to me.

"At the end of the day"

Example usage:
  • You know, we looked everything over and, at the end of the day, what matters to us is price.
  • At the end of the day, it's hard for me to say I like any band more than the Pussy Cat Dolls.
  • Look, at the end of the day, Manu Ginobili is a douche.
I understand the use of this phrase. My problem is that the people that use it seem to use it non-stop. I've heard people drop this phrase twice in the course of three sentences. How 'bout mixing in some totally acceptable synonymous phrases?

Acceptable alternative phrases:
  • Bottom line
  • Basically
  • In summary
I'm a man that appreciates variety ... and is tiring of hearing about what happens and/or matters at the end of the day.

"If I'm being honest" and/or "I'm gonna be honest"

Example usage:
  • If I'm being honest, Indiana Jones 4 was kinda weak.
  • I'm going to be honest with you, it sounded like a whale singing karaoke at an underwater bar in 1964.
  • I'm gonna be honest, Manu Ginobili is a douche.
I think I'm keyed into these phrases simply because I've been watching a lot of The Bachelor (who happened to be British this season) and American Idol (which features Simon who is also a Brit). Matt the Bachelor would declare his honesty at least twice an episode and by the end of the Idol season, it seemed like Simon felt the need to remind us he's not a liar before every judgment on every song. Why is such a declaration necessary? Is it now understood in our society that we're lying unless we explicitly say that we're not?

Acceptable alternative phrases:
  • [Silence]
How about we do this? At the end of the day, I'm just gonna assume you're being honest whenever you talk unless I have strong reason to believe otherwise ... son of a B!

"It is what it is"

Example usage:
  • Uh, I mean, uh, ya know, it is what it is.
  • Der, um, ya know ... uh, well I mean ... it is what it is.
  • Hi. I'm Manu Ginobili. My bald spot? Well, it is what it is.
This one is the worst. Because you're saying nothing. It's the newest hottest way to say "no comment" and cop out on answering something you don't want to answer. I can pretty much guarantee that Roger Clemons used this phrase when he didn't exactly apologize when it was revealed that he cheated on his wife often and over the course of years.

Acceptable alternative phrases:
  • Come on, bro. Next question. [See Paul Lo Duca]
  • I have no spine.
  • I don't want to be honest here so ... [and then just trail off].
Let's work on not saying nothing when we say stuff. Okie dokes? Great.

P.S. Hi, Manu. You're the best.

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Anonymous said...

I'm gonna be honest with you, at the end of the day Manu Ginobili is a douche. I mean, it is what it is.

sealionwoman said...

Yeah why can't people just be more Jimmy the direct tv technician...


Oh also some good music that I think you'll enjoy, but darnit if that ain't funny.

Anonymous said...

I thought I was THE ONLY ONE who was tired of the overuse of "AT THE END OF THE DAY!!!!""

I guess someone else feels my pain!