Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Cherish these moments

You know what moment is a special big ball of awkward? It's the time when you pull up behind a pick up truck ... and there's a guy sitting in the back of the truck ... and your car and his truck come up to a red light.

The situation is tailor made for the most amazing male on male eye contact awkwardness imaginable. It's engineered so you have to make efforts to not look at each other. He's in the back of the truck. And obviously the most comfortable sitting position in the truck bed is with his back against the cab and his legs extended out so that he's facing directly backwards. And you're driving so you have to face forward. End result: 2 dudes pretty much situated like this:

This just happened to me and I've never worked so hard at avoiding eye contact. I'm looking at the truck's license plate. I'm looking sorta past the truck and at whatever is ahead on the right. I think it was an electronics supply store. I'm adjusting my cap and messing with the radio. But at the same time I have to continue looking generally forward. If I commit to avoiding eye contact by re-organizing the junk in my center console, I run the risk of missing the change of the light and having to do that awkward wave to the person behind me as I jam on the gas and try to make up the gap. And guess who's waiting for me when I close said gap? That's right: truck bed boy. Great.

And it really doesn't help that you know the dude is embarrassed about his riding situation. Not only does he seem to not have a car, but he doesn't even get to ride inside the flipping truck. He's been relegated to the same place where the truck's owner typically throws his bag, trash, dead deer carcasses, whatever. And in my particular situation, they made him ride in the bed instead of riding bitch in the truck cab. Bitch was open! And he was still forced to ride in the back. How good of a friend is the guy who is forced to ride in the bed when bitch is open? So he's hanging with friends that really don't seem to like him while sitting in the bed of a truck and sharing a giant jug of awkward eye contact sauce with yours truly. Good times, brah.

Next time, dude, just stay home and save us both from the horror, eh?

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Grant said...

If that post doesn't at least put a smile on your face, you must be a robot.

Good ish, LJ.

Anonymous said...