Tuesday, February 22, 2011

The Bachelor Diaries: Big Swayze Returns! Episode 8

Home town time. Home team time. Huge town team! Go go go.
  • Brad's fashion statement this week: Kangol hats. Keep it spicy, Brad.
  • Oh it's recap time. Let me guess. Chantal cries. Ashley's mostly a mess. Shawntel is cute. Emily has a daughter. Did I miss anything?
  • Chantal: "Today's my hometown date with Brad and I feel just as crazy ... as I did back in Anguilla." She admitted it! She's crazy! (That's how you use an ellipsis, people.)
  • Chantal's pets' names are: Jinxy, Bailey and Boca. Boca means mouth. I don't know what to read from that.
  • Meeting a woman's father ... also huge. Huge is back. Huge is huge.
  • Chantal: "It's really huge to go to [my parents' house] today." Going to houses is huge. I'm learning so much.
  • Oh yeah, Ando with the research again. Check out Chantal's dad's biz here.
  • If The Bachelor is any indication, I have NOT spent enough time sitting outside with a blanket wrapped around me.
  • I just realized that Brad asked Mr. O'Brien if he thinks Chantal is ready to settle down. He does know she was previously married, right?
  • Props to Chantal's mom for at least trying to get her forehead to move.
  • Brad wakes up in Maine and says to himself, "Wool socks. Check. Flannel. Check. Leather jacket. Check. What's missing? Fingerless gloves. Yes. I need me some fingerless gloves for my visit to Maine."
  • Little bit of a contrast between Chantal's family's house and Ashley's family's house. For starters, Ashley's family's house doesn't have 2 giant marble staircases in the foyer.
  • Is it weird that I noticed Ashley's sister's teeth before her tattoos? Ashley is a dentist for Pete's sake. This is like a fireman's brother not having smoke detectors. Or a mechanic's brother that hasn't had his oil changed in 6,000 miles. Or a tattoo artist's sister not having any tattoos. Oh. Maybe it sorta makes sense.
  • So far home town dates are a great success. Michelle must be pissed. I actually kinda miss hearing her negative take on all the other girls.
  • Time to get morbid with Shawntel's date. So far the date is very echoey. And casket filled.
  • Hard for me to deny that I wouldn't be a little weirded out too.
  • No date really gets cookin' until someone says "aneurysm hook." ... And we're off!
  • I'm confused by the hair colors of the Newton daughters. Is it possible to have natural brunettes and blonds in the same fam?
  • There are 2 kinds of houses on this earth. Those with bird cages. And those without.
  • We're 30 seconds into Emily's date and I'm pretty sure it's going to be fair to name this date "Shy Time."
  • 10 more minutes have passed ... Shy ... Time. Maybe you should have shaved the beard, Brad.
  • Some dates involve aneurysm hooks, others involve games of Candylands. Just depends on the day.
  • Weird play from Brad here. Make your move, man. Or call your shrink. Or both.
  • Emily. So likeable. I get the feeling Brad is gonna blow it with her in the end though.
  • I appreciate the Vaseline lens they put on the recaps of all the home town dates. Helps me understand that these are flashbacks.
  • Harrison. I just don't know what to say about this outfit.
  • Also I appreciate the color coordination and blinking coordination of the ladies.
  • First rose goes to Ashley. He liked those fries with gravy I guess.
  • Holy crap, Chris. Leave us alone! You were just here! Let us miss you a little.
  • Wow. Shawntel, I'm moving to Chico and I'll lay down on your embalming table any time. Please be gentle with the aneurysm hook. It's my first time.
  • Brad, you just sent home Shawntel while Ashley and Chantal remain upstairs. You're aware of this, yes?
Well, another bad decision in the books. We'll see what Brad's able to screw up in South Africa next week!

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