ok, i'm totally stealing this from some comic i saw one time, but it's worth repeating.
i just got a fortune that said "you will bring sunshine into someone's life". wow. really? nostradamus would be proud at how specific and grand your predictions are, oh seer-like fortune cookie.
don't you think it'd be more fun to create fortunes that don't apply to 99.9% of america, but really freak out like 100 people? for example, "steve, you know that guy jeff from accounting? he's got that mustache and he's always talking to everyone about his boat. he's after your job and he's going to sabotage your powerpoint presentation!"