The Bachelorette Musings: Ali and Man Drama Tellin' All

Big night here for the blog. We got Dave and Lubs on board for the double feature starting with the guys tell everything they've ever had to tell in their lives about this show and everything else. Or ... The Men Tell All.

• Let's start with a crazy loud song that kinda reminded me of The Shout Out Louds
• Dude in the audience count: 0 so far.
• Ali starts the night off with a black sparkly dress. Silver sparkly dress yet to come.
• How did I forget about Bubble's line: "It's just my heart ... jump in. Stay a while."
• This interview is actually kind of redeeming for Ali. She actually seems like she had a decent handle on what was going on during the season. I like that she kept Bubble along as long as she did all the while kinda knowing he was crazy.
• Blooper reel! Roberto nearly blinds Ali when he pops his cork ... yowza.
• Is Ali wearing a giant watch ... or just some sort of bracelet that looks like a watch?
• Fair to say that the range of Ali's jokes when it comes to astronauts begins and ends with ... Houston, come in.
• Chris H had his own internal nickname? And it was Phantom? No wonder we never ever saw him speak. Come to think of it, is he even eligible for this show seeing as how he can't talk?
• Derrick, 2 questions. 1) Who are you? and 2) pew pew pew pew pew right back at you, dude.
• I like that Harrison openly pretty much just said "Frank's not here, but we're gonna talk all kinds of shit about him anyone."
• Weatherman, the leather jacket ... not working, man.
• If I was Harrison, I'd prefer to be surrounded by about 18 more candles than are already there.
• All this "let me finish" talk during their confrontation of The Weatherman is giving me wonderful flashbacks to Jake and Vienna's swan song. I'd mail The Weatherman $100 right now if he said "again with the interruption ..."
• Okay, I skipped it the first time, but I can't let it go twice. Phantom has said the phrase "self promote himself" multiple times now. Does his newness to talking make him not understand that there's no one else you can self promote other than yourself?
• The dudes are sticking up for Frank? Break up or no break up, I stand by the idea that Frank sucks.
• The "guard and protect your heart" count or the GAPYHC on this episode alone is already well past double digits.
• Bubble's singing makes me physically have to turn away from the television. I literally cannot watch it.
• Ali's dismissal of Bubble might be my favorite vote off ever. The sigh and "I'm gonna give Justin the rose" ... it just says so much. It wasn't "Justin, will you accept this rose?" It was "Bubble, I can no longer handle your crazy and I have no choice but to give this rose to the other dude."
• Oh! I spotted a due in the audience. I think he's accompanying his daughter. He's wearing a sweater vest.
• Kirk, thank you. Thank you for not liking Frank. We should start a club or something.
• Most disinterested person on the entire set: the wilderness guy from the first episode that did the fishing thing who has got absolutely zero play tonight.
• Well hey, Jessie. Why do I have no recollection of you from your original season? And what is this "social networking" site you're on?
• Wow, Craig R loves that Rated Inj has no car. Loves it.
• Audience dude #2 sited. He also appears to be quite old and probably being dragged along to this event.
• 3rd audience dude sited and he is f'ing PUMPED about Ali coming up after the break. I hope he had to answer for that at work the next week.
• Yay, Ali's here and she's super sparkly yet again. Woo ... pee.
• Her hair looks like a bird's nest.
• Didn't Bubble say he's not a singer. I am again forced to physically look away from the television.
• Bloops! Wow, these guys weren't all drama all day after all. Except for the jokes about the barking dogs. Those were not funny at all.
• Dave, Lubs and I just spent the majority of the Roberto/Chris montage discussing the possibilities of how/if/when/whether Ali's had relations with these dudes. This element of the final 3 or 4 weeks HAS to play in more to the big picture of the actual relationships that these pairs are forming than ABC lets them talk about, right? I mean the thought of the other dude has to pop into the other dude's mind at some point during those dates, right?
• Bachelor Pad. Seriously. Seriously. Initial thoughts: Tenley is not cut out for this show. What's her name does NOT look better as a blonde. And I haven't heard Gia's horrible laugh yet so I've again been tricked into being attracted to her.

Somehow the finale still hasn't been spoiled for me so we'll see you for the finale live blog shortly. From the real bachelor pad ... out.