Pick pockets, take note ...

You remember that iPhone test where the guy put his phone into a plastic bag with keys and other junk and then shook it around to test how easily the screen would scratch? No? Well I do. And that's because it pained me almost as bad as that Olympic weight lifter that broke his arm (note: I can't even bare to link directly to that footage. Find it yourself if you want to squirm). The iPhone test had me squirming because after a nice shake of the bag don't scratch the screen, he took the keys and ... well, keyed his iPhone! Good gravy, man! Anyway I bring all this up to say ... Who the hell keeps their phone in the same pocket as their keys?

I don't know about you but my personal pocket real estate was zoned out long long ago. Here it is (copy this next part down, pick pockets) ...

• Left front pocket: phone ... and only phone ... with the screen facing towards my thigh ... you know just in case I walk directly into a running power drill sitting on a counter.
  
• Right front pocket: wallet (and sometimes keys when the back pocket won't work).
• Back right pocket: keys preferably.
• Back left pocket: wild card! Oh the excitement! Could be a concert ticket stub. Could be a candy wrapper. Maybe even a cell phone. Ah ha! Got you, didn't I? It can't be a cell phone. That's the whole point of this pointless blog entry: the application and execution of pocket rules! But seriously ... this pocket is usually empty and/or paper that can go straight to the trash when possible.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who has a pocket mapping like this. Can I really be expected to just reach into a random pocket with no idea of what I'll find? We need rules, people. We need order. And if we can't find it in our pockets, then where can we?