Tuesday, March 20, 2007


Let's talk about 'em.

Firstly, is Claire Danes the cutest thing ever in this Gap man-girl-pants commercial? Don't answer that. Yes.

Secondly, I really want to drop an f-bomb about the Buffalo Wild Wings commercial featuring the slow clap.

Let's get this straight right off the bat. That is NOT the correct use of the slow clap, you friggin' bastards. The slow clap is correctly used as follows:
  1. There is some large public gathering.
  2. An individual that has not quite been accepted by the general public chooses to address the entire crowd.
  3. The crowd watches on during the speech with absolutely zero reaction.
  4. The speech ends and there is a long pause.
  5. At which point, the individual's arch nemesis slowly rises and begins to clap slowly.
  6. The slow clap!
  7. Awe and dismay over the nemesis' clapping leads the entire crowd to eventually rise up in cheer.
  8. The awkward individual is accepted by all and is celebrated for years to come.
  9. The end.
You DO NOT slow clap when some dumb server almost spills wings and then saves them by diving to the ground. She friggin' hit the deck to save some wings. You'd either think she's a moron and do nothing or you'd go nuts and cheer like you won the superbowl if you were drunk. You would under no circumstances execute the slow clap. If anyone argues with me about this, there's a chance I will have no choice but to physically fight you.

I couldn't find a copy of the commercial I'm bitching about above. Watch any 20 minute segment of March Madness and you'll see it. And then you'll totally agree with me and want to choke the ad execs that came up with this crap ad. Your reaction might not happen in that order.

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