Where do i find double- or triple-malt scotch?
When you're in line at Subway, do you ever pay close attention to what the people in front of and behind you in line are ordering just in case you end up with their sandwich due to some mis-hap during checkout? Me neither.
When someone says "I'm not pressuring you", what ARE they saying?
There's a new truth in the world. You can verify that two people are dating by examining each person's top-left friend on MySpace. "Are they each other's top-left friend? They are? Yeah, they're a couple."
Is anyone surprised when someone crosses the street on TV or in a movie and doesn't get run over?
Don't say something like "It's gonna take me at least 6 - 10 weeks to get that for you." When you say "at least", everything after 6 weeks is understood.
My new favorite thing is watching people run in place while waiting for the walk signal. I can't contain myself while watching them in my car. I just start laughing and offering up encouraging words like I'm their fitness coach. "Keep that heart rate up. There ya go. Let me see those knees."