Monday, October 17, 2005

it's cool, i clapped his shoes

ok, i realize i'm due. with that said, i would like to share the security measures of the staff at the marquee theatre in phx. you get your ticket, you line up to get checked for knives, guns, contraband, cameras, nun chuks, sling shots. you take all your crap out of your pockets and hold it in your hands. something that i dare anyone to do gracefully. you hold out your hands and try not to drop your wallet, keys, cell phone, ticket, ipod, miniature yorkie and then they check your person. next is the best part. assuming you're wearing something other than flip flops or gels, you have to take off your shoes and hand them to the person that just checked your biz. it's time for the shoe check. allow me to illustrate:


they hold your shoes apart and then clap the soles together. that's it. then you get them back and have to oh-so-gracefully put your shoes back on and reload your pockets.

so the real question is ... why the hell did my shoes pass? because they didn't explode? how many marquee security guards have perished as a result of this hands-on test? do they have their own memorial? they should.

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