How to rule on every NFL challenge in 60 seconds

I was just watching Monday Night Football and there was a pass in the backfield from Michael Vick to LeSean McCoy that was batted down by a defensive lineman.  Everyone gave up on the play except for 2 Redskins who picked up what they thought was a fumble (backwards pass) and then did the slowest 90 yard run for a touchdown ever.

Chip Kelly challenged the ruling on the field of a backward pass.

ESPN then showed the replay 3 or 4 times.  Then they cut to commercial.  They came back from commercial and showed the replay SIX MORE TIMES!

The refs still weren't done with their official review.  How is this possible?

I looked up the rules for review here and this is what it says:

See that highlighted part? It says the play on the field will stand UNLESS there is indisputable visual evidence that the call should be reversed.  Do you know how easy this makes things?  This means there is no other way to handle a review other than this:

You're welcome, NFL.

Please Hold

I've been getting this interaction a lot lately when calling places with operators ...

Person: "Hello, how may I direct your call?"
Me: "[Extremely clear answer where I also indicate who I am and why I'm calling]"
Person: "Okay ... please hold."
Me: "Okay."
[Hold music]

[Comes back.]
Person: "I'm sorry, this is my first day. Please continue to hold."
Me: "Okay."
[Hold Music]

[Comes back.]
Person: "Please continue to hold."
Me: "Okay."
[Hold Music]

[Comes back.]
Person: "How can I direct your call?"
Me: "I was already on hold waiting for [so and so]."
Person: "Please hold."
Me: "Okay."
[Hold Music]

[Comes back.]
Person: "Please continue to hold."
Me: "Yeah, I was holding. I figured that's what the hold music was meant to do ... have me continue to hold. Count me in for some more holding!"
[Hold Music]

[Comes back.]
Person: "Please hold."
Me: "Thank God you came back. In the last 15 seconds since I heard your voice, I was beginning to wonder if that hold music was trying to insinuate that I should hang up ... or worse."
[Hold Music]

[Comes back.]
Person: "Continue to hold."
Me: "Look. It's getting bad out here in Hold Land. Is the sun still shining where you are? Is there food? And laughter?"
[Hold Music]

[Comes back.]
Person: "Okay, here's [who you asked to speak to.]"
Me: "Chaos. Reigns."
[Phone clicks.]
Person: "Hi, Luke."
Me: "Oh, hey, Tom! Listen. About those TPS reports ..."

All I'm saying is ... I already agreed to hold. I don't care if it's your first day and I don't need all the check ins. I'll hold. That's what speaker phones are for.

F You, Footloose Remake

Look.  I was already livid with the Footloose remake because ... it's a Footloose remake.  A film that spawned this scene (that Zach and I have repeatedly re-enacted on the streets of Aspen by the way):

Which in turn spawned this spoof:

... is clearly without reproach.

But then they did something absolutely horrific.  They stole the Friday Night Lights signature music and style for their preview:

That's it.  That's the last straw.  You've now treaded on 2 untouchable classics: Footloose and Friday Night Lights.  In the words of Coach Taylor ... You have a nice day.

Looks like my marathon training kinda worked

So my marathon training is all based on doing my longest run one month away from marathon day.  Leading up to that super long run and following that long run, I'll add/subtract 20 minutes from my run length every weekend.  So I'll do a 100 minute, 120 minute, 140 minute, 160 minute, 180 minute, 160 minute, 140 minute ... you get the idea.  It's like a bell curve of run lengths.

Here's how it mapped out.  Not too shabby.

My Three Least Favorite Harry Potter Cliches

So now that the Potter series is over (book form and film form), let's talk about the 3 most annoying recurring themes.

1. We all knew Harry Potter wasn't going to die in books 1 - 6. J.K. made it clear from the start that there are 7 years of school and there will be 7 books in the end. And yet every book the plot was always basically "uh oh, someone's out to kill Harry. Watch out!" Severus, Voldemort, Sirius Black ... it didn't matter. I wasn't worried. I knew book 5 wasn't going to be Hermione Granger and the Frizzy Hair. I knew book 6 wasn't going to be Ron Weasley and the Lack of Confidence.
2. Ron and Harry always sass Hermione when she says something with confidence. "Harry, get started on the tent." ... followed by Harry going "A tent? Where am I going to be able to find a tent!?" We're in book 7, Harry. Haven't you learned that Hermione has everything figured out at all times? PLUS we're talking about magic here. When Hermione says tent or gum drop or elephant that poops ice cream, I don't think it's a stretch to realize she can manifest anything in the world. And furthemore, Hermione's the only one that's actually good at magic.
3. Expelliarmus. F'ing expelliarmus. It's the only spell Dumbledore's Army knows. The Death Eaters can leave fangy clouds, turn into flying smoke monsters, split their soul into 7 pieces so they are basically invincible and actually kill people with their spells, but they can't fight off expelliarmus - the first f'ing spell you learn at Hogwarts. I thought you guys were pros, Death Eaters. Hold onto your wands, you f'ing rookies ... and you might have actually won this thing.

The Best iTunes Marathon Smart Playlist

So I've already documented the best smart playlist of all time - my Master Playlist. One place though where the master playlist won't do ... is while running.

When it comes to distance running, I break things into 3 phases:

1. Running1 - Songs to kick start your run early in the morning and get you going. Upbeat songs that might lean towards having a long lead in. Think "Rock and Roll Ain't Noise Polution" by AC/DC or "Knocked Up" by Kings of Leon.
2. Running2 - I use these playlists when running half marathons and marathons and my secret to a good long run is keeping a good pace in the middle of the race. These songs tend to have a nice groove and often end up being the highlight of my run. Think "Use Me" by Bill Withers or "Covered in Rain" by John Mayer (what was once my most played song ever).
3. Running3 - Now that Running2 has effectively saved you from burning out at Mile 20, these are the drop dead adrenaline songs that are gonna bring you into the finish. Think "See Through Head" by The Hives or "Positive Tension" by Bloc Party.

So use the comments field in iTunes to label your songs as Running1, Running2 or Running3 according to the rules above and you'll have laid the ground work.

Now time to load the playlist. I like to be surprised by what's coming on next on my run, but obviously not totally surprised (I mean, we can't have a Running3 at the beginning of the run - am I RIGHT!?!?). So to load your playlist, first figure out how long you're going to be running for - let's say 2 hours. Divid the time into thirds (ish) - let's say 45 minutes for each third. Then set up 1 playlist to randomly pull 45 minutes of Running1, another playlist to pull 45 minutes of Running2, and another to pull 45 minutes of Running3.

Load all three of these playlists into one final playlist in order (so all the Running1s are first, Running2s are second, etc.) and voila!

You now have a random (and yet predictable) set of tunes that are going to pump you up, set your pace and let you finish strong (TWSS).

For example, here's what my system just spit out for tomorrow's Aspen Half Marathon:

Easy, right? What? I have too much time on my hands. Okay, fine. Ruin my fun.

Don't drink and ride

In the afore mentioned carbon footprint killing bike ride, I remember having my water bottle with me. Looks like I found a well camouflaged replacement for the ride home.


Yes. There was still beer in it.


For what it's worth, the "silver bullet" didn't seem to help my speed at all.

Location:E Hyman Ave,Aspen,United States